How to find a good therapist

How To Find A Good Therapist | Virtual Therapy in Ontario

No matter the reason you may be considering therapy – you may be wondering how to find a good therapist. For many people, this is the biggest barrier to them starting therapy or continuing with therapy. With the increase in access to therapists and other mental health professionals in recent years (think telehealth), it can be overwhelming trying to choose someone that you’re going to open up to about your problems, and be vulnerable with. So, how can you find a good therapist?

1. Understand Your “Why?”

 a couple in therapy

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I get it, sometimes you don’t know exactly what it is you want to work on in therapy, but something feels off or you feel stuck. Regardless of that, you’ve decided now’s the time for you to reach out to a therapist.

So, while you don’t need to get too specific, knowing why you’ve sought support at this time can help you narrow down the pool of therapists. It can be something as specific as seeking couples therapy due to infidelity in your relationship and wanted to work on staying together and improving communication. Or, it can be as broad as having dealt with anxiety for years and now just feels like the time for you to explore some options for support and more effective coping mechanisms.

Both of these “whys” can help you to navigate therapist directories like Psychology Today, google, or referrals from people you know. Not all therapists offer couples therapy or therapy for anxiety, each therapist typically has their areas of focus and modalities that go along with them. Being able to at least know why you’re seeking therapy right now, even if it’s just one of many reasons, can help ensure you pick a therapist that understands what it is you’re bringing to therapy to work on.

2. Look to Past Experiences

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If you’ve been to therapy before, whether that’s individual therapy, group therapy or couples therapy. Think about the experience you had in the past and see if you can identify what you liked and didn’t like about it.

Perhaps you attended a CBT-based group for anxiety, but found that the therapist was too rigid in their use of CBT and came out of it feeling invalidated, or just didn’t have an experience that was helpful for you at that time. If that’s the case, you may seek out therapists that offer modalities beyond CBT. If you really liked that your past therapist had the same beliefs as you (religious, political, etc.) that may be something that you find important to ask about before beginning therapy.

3. Do You Want A Therapist With Lived Experience?

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Every therapist you come across is likely going to have lived experience of some sort (obviously) – whether it’s lived experience that directly informs the work they do and their areas of focus or not is a different story. Everyone is going to have a different preference for whether or not they want their therapist to be reflective of their experience in some way. What I mean by that is, for some people it’s important to have a therapist that is BIPOC, 2SLGBTQIA+, Trans, Male, Female, etc. because they feel safer with a therapist within their community.

There are parts of how we identify, that may be important for us know see represented by our therapists. This can be especially important for members of marginalized groups. For example, many therapists can support clients with chronic pain or chronic illness related concerns, but not all therapists have lived experience of what it’s like to live with a chronic illness or disability. While this may not mean much to some people, for others, having a therapist that understands certain aspects of their experience without necessarily needing to educate them on it can be a huge deal.

4. Check Your Insurance and Your Budget

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Therapy can be expensive. Luckily, if you have extended healthcare benefits privately or through your employer, most will cover at least some of your therapy expenses. However, it’s important to double check if they have any requirements for title (e.g. Registered Psychotherapist, Registered Social Worker, Psychologist) or any other restrictions on who or what they cover before you jump in.

Similarly, have an idea of your budget. It’s not going to be helpful for you if you find a therapist you like by they charge double what you can afford. Narrow down your search based on what you can afford, and have an idea going into your consultations or first session about how often you can afford to attend therapy – whether that’s weekly, bi-weekly, every three weeks, etc.

If you find that you can’t afford the typical going rate for therapists in your area, you can search for therapists that offer sliding scale, or student therapists that often offer low-fees. If this is something you need, there are other directories – like Affordable Therapy Network – and ways of finding a therapist that may be more tailored to your needs and can make the process a little less tedious.

5. Schedule Consultations

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Most therapists will offer a complimentary consultation either by phone or virtually. These are typically 15-20 minute appointments that give you both the time and space to explore whether you’re the right fit. I always recommend that clients book a few of these consultations so they get a feel for the types of therapists out there that meet their needs (fees, modality, concerns) before making a decision. While in most cases, the therapist will ask you a bunch of questions about your presenting concern, past therapy experience and your availability – this is also the time for you to interview them.

Don’t be scared to ask the therapist questions that are important to you. Some ideas of questions to ask your therapist include:

  • How many years have you been in practice?
  • What are your areas/concerns of focus?
  • How do you typically support someone with xyz?
  • Are you a 2SLGBTQIA+ affirmative therapist?
  • What are your political leanings?
  • How can you accommodate my disability/needs?
  • Are you open to feedback?
  • How would you describe your therapy style?

During your consultation, pay attention to how you feel and how the therapist responds/interacts with you:

  • Do you feel seen, heard, understood and respected (as much as you can in 15-20 mins)?
  • Does the therapist interrupt you?
  • How do they talk about or reflect back your concerns?
  • Do you feel like you may be able to open up to them?
  • Are you noticing any signs (tension in the body, thoughts, etc.) that you’re uncomfortable or not wanting to open up?
  • Does the therapist share opinions or other information that makes you feel unsafe, or unable to open up?

How To Find A Good Therapist

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So, if you’ve taken the first step and started to look for a therapist – these are a few things to consider when trying to find the right therapist for you. Above all else, it’s so helpful to book a few consultations before jumping into a full session with a therapist. Use that time to ask questions that are important to you and the type of therapist you feel you need in order to be comfortable and open up, and assess the vibes. And remember, if you decide on a therapist that seems to tick all the boxes, but a few sessions down the line doesn’t feel like the fit you’d hoped for, you’re not seeing progress, or any other reason they may not be the therapist for you – you have every right to move on, find another therapist and even ask that therapist for referrals. The most important part of this process is that you find someone that can support you in the way that you need and with the concerns that you need – not every therapist is for every client.

If you’re considering therapy for chronic pain/illness, you’re 2SLGBTQIA+, you’re experiencing burnout, a major life transition, depression, anxiety and more. I am currently accepting clients for in-person therapy in Guelph, ON and virtual therapy across Ontario. Book a FREE 20-min consultation.

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